And Our Weapons?
by SugarcaneSoldier
Summary: There is a notable absence in the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion, and this is a short explanation as to why that absence exists.
1. Chapter 1: The Regular Version

Tanya pushed both buttons, waiting for the 'Orb Expansion.'

The report she had been given on the process had been replete with a large amount of technical jargon that, from her understanding, amounted to 'it'll make the Orb work better.'

It had _also_ been filled with a nearly unbearable amount of praise for Being X, but she wasn't paid to complain – or enough, considering she had to constantly risk her life closest to the Empire's most dangerous theaters – so she had read the damn thing anyway.

And, really, she was indignant that they had dragged her away from her two months of freedom away from the front for this, but that damn mad doctor was given anything he wanted, thanks to his success with the Type 95.

Despite being forced to read it, she hadn't had the foggiest as to how this was supposed to make her Computation Orb work better. For one thing, there wasn't anyway for her to connect the button and her Type 97 or her Type 95 Computation Orbs. There were no wires, and she was fairly sure that radio technology wasn't this small yet.

She was _guessing_ that the mad doctor was praying for another miracle, or they were trying to test the limits of the placebo effect.

Either way, Tanya was hoping that she wouldn't explode. Her eyes wide open – what idiot would close their eyes while hurtling through the air at fractions of the speed of sound? – genuine concern flashed across her face.

The world around her seemed to be… melting?!

She waited, for a moment, for her momentum to be stopped by that infuriating Being X's meddling with time itself, but it never came. She continued hurtling forward, watching.

An eye twitched, and she began to layer on Active Barriers around herself like a cocoon, keeping the bare minimum amount of mana flowing into her Flight spells, preparing for… whatever was coming.

The crackling of her radio was fading away, and, for a brief moment, the world around her became a kaleidoscope of color before flashing a bright, brilliant white.

And then, it was over.

Like the snap of her fingers, the world around them became…

Different.

She whirled around, looking for enemies – a chemical attack of some kind? – or medical professionals – Schugel had finally decided to try drugging her and venturing beyond engineering, with the help of his 'god' – or the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion – someone had decided to sign their own death warrant by pranking her.

She found some of that.

Viktoriya, Weiss, Neumann, Koenig, and Grantz were all around her, looking as confused as she felt. As for the rest of her surroundings, however…

She gulped.

Japan. They were in Japan.

The trees looked familiar. The dusty, barren plot of land they were on looked familiar. The school they were close to looked familiar.

She hadn't been to this specific school, but the structure and layout were certainly familiar enough. She gulped, but then, her anger began to grow.

If she was back where she belonged…

Then Being X was undoubtedly involved.

Before she could contemplate that thing – and the many ways she wished she could take more direct action instead of having to settle for figuratively flipping him off by getting away from the front – the clearing of someone's throat caught her attention.

She spun around, ignoring the confused mutterings of the 203rd to find…

"General Rudersdorf!?" she cried out.

He nodded slowly, taking a long drag on those detestable cigars that he enjoyed. "Actually, during our time here, you will need to refer to me as 'Principal' Rudersdorf."

Tanya blinked. Then…

He nodded at her unguarded expression. "Indeed. You all will be attending class in the wonderful building behind me, along with your classmates. Who seem to be running late…"

He trailed off, and Tanya tried not to lash out immediately.

Rudersdorf probably wouldn't willingly be taken away from the front if he hadn't been assured that they'd be dropped right back – he was a general, which meant his disappearance would be noted and complained about much faster than her disappearance would.

Still, if he was complicit with Being X…

"Principal… I was wondering if you might happen to know where our weapons are? Or how we've come to arrive here?" she asked.

She didn't have her rifle with her when she had gone up, but she would have been a fool to not carry something with her, on the off chance Being X presented her with an opportunity to try and kill him.

Unfortunately, the pistol she had brought up with her was nowhere to be found. The others, too, should have had some kind of weapon on them, but they were similarly equipped.

Rudersdorf raised an eyebrow at her, but she didn't let her gaze stray from him. She had no raging desire to use them, of course, but if she had to fight, she'd much rather have a gun to fight with instead of attempting to bring down her foes with her fists and magic alone.

He chuckled. "Do you plan to bring them with you to the classroom? I heard about your insistence on doing so at the War College, but I am afraid that this won't be anything like that prestigious institution, even if there are things here that the College could learn from."

Tanya scoffed. "I wouldn't bring a weapon into a high school like this one appears to be. I'm not an American. I just think that it would be beneficial to know where they are, in the case of an attack," she relayed.

While the other five seemed to be confused about her thinking Americans would bring guns into high schools, Rudersdorf just nodded at her description. "Well, I suppose that if you only bring them out for emergencies…"

As they walked towards the building, she was told what she would be doing. And what the restrictions were. And not what her 'classmates' would look like.

In the coming weeks, Tanya would wish that she had retrieved her weapons and ignored the promise she made to the general not to bring them out without an emergency, especially since _everyone else_ had _their_ weapons!

-OxOxO-

A/N: There we have it. A plausible explanation as to where their guns went, since we don't see any of them in the anime, despite the fact that everyone else gets to keep their stuff.

Oh well. Anyway, there is another chapter to this. It is… not serious, in any way shape or form, but hopefully, you'll at least chuckle.

Anyway, please comment. Did you notice the fact that they didn't have their guns, or did you only just realize it?


	2. Chapter 2: Epic Meme Version

"I'm not an _American_."

As the last syllable of that country's name passed her lips, everyone gained knowledge of and the context surrounding the fetish many Americans in Tanya's original world seemed to have for their guns, as well as an intrinsic understanding of memes.

And not just the people there. The group from Overlord, the four from Konosuba, and the group from Re:Zero – all of whom were being pulled in early by the sheer density of the energy emanating from Tanya – all gained the knowledge as well.

As the clouds began to form a spiral that resembled a gate in some form or fashion, people began to react to Tanya's insult.

Tanya felt sunglasses materialize on her face as she dabbed, and a kaleidoscope of colors flew from her body, four hundred and twenty times as intense as the ones that had engulfed her vision upon her transfer.

Simultaneously, the people from her world began to react in their own ways.

Weiss and Koenig had come up behind her and were Fortnight dancing on America's grave as they sang CaptianSparklez's _Revenge_.

Grantz and Neumann were flying above them, doing dances that would sync up to any song like that dancing Spiderman gif.

Viktoriya was seated on a chair that had suddenly materialized from the highest office in all of Nazarick, scribbling furiously on a desk from the same place and muttering about 'being worse than the Boston Tea Party.'

Meanwhile, Rudersdorf had begun to have an aneurysm due to the colors that were still flowing out of the girl in front of him. From his body, his ghost rose, playing the 'MLG Damn Son Where'd you find this' song using his newfound power as a ghost with a number of ghostly instruments provided by the new arrivals.

Ainz, after providing everyone with instruments, was now throwing as much of the rare '2000's internet nostalgia' items – airhorns, clothing with hentai on it, and 'guaranteed' headshot rifles – from his inventory, while the Guardians were seriously considering if humans couldn't be Supreme Beings on par with their Bone Daddy.

Meanwhile, Kazuma was now standing directly behind Tanya, and, like an actual NEET, he was making as many references to memes and reddit as he could since he was now unconstrained by being in a work of fiction that was also trying to make money.

Aqua was attempting to downplay the person doing better than her, Darkness was contemplating how painful it would be to have you brilliance constantly constrained by social convention, and Megumin was casting Explosion spells for effect.

Honestly, those three weren't doing much different.

Then, the heavens themselves opened, revealing Being X floating down surrounded by a choir of angels.

His power was easily destroyed by the energy – cringe, memes, and sass – emanating from the group of people below, the angels were wiped away a moment after his power was destroyed, and he let it happen.

He could not fight this.

Weakened and nearly evaporated, he began to utter his pronouncement with his last dying words.

"By the power invested in me by myself, I name you the Second Supreme Ruler of Sass and Roasts, confirming your ability to kill anything – people, institutions, ideas, _anything _– just by insulting them."

For a moment, her power faded, and everyone stopped what they were doing. "Who is the First Supreme Ruler?"

Fading into nothingness, he was able to mutter out only two words.

"Harry Potter."

Tanya paused, for a moment, and then shrugged. She could live with being second to Harry Potter in terms of sass.

And so, Tanya dragged them from world to world, destroying all that bothered the people who were all obviously protagonists.

Being X died as she personally ended the war in her world, and she liquidated and fed the communist pedophile Loria to cannibals so that he was useful to someone else for once in his miserable existence.

The Demon King and all of his Generals were washed away in a flood of memes.

Ainz was declared the sole ruler of his New World, henceforth known as the 'Swagon lands,' considering it was known as the 'Dragon Lands' to many and they didn't really want to mess up that awesome name _completely_.

Whatever problems that were plaguing Subaru were solved in a vague manner because the author couldn't care enough to look up the plot to the anime he hasn't seen, of the four.

And there was peace in the Isekai Universes.

-OxOxO-

A/N: And there it is. If anyone would like to do anything with this – animate it or whatever – please tell me when you finish, as nothing would give me greater joy than seeing all of this in front of me instead of imagining it and laughing for fifteen minutes.


End file.
